Hi there
Thank you for writing to me and telling me about what’s happening. I’m very concerned to hear that you’re having such a difficult time. You mentioned that you’ve tried to take your own life twice and that you’re scared about what you might do when you’re alone. If you ever feel that way again, perhaps you could come through to get some support from ChildLine or talk to an adult who you trust. If you ever feel like you’re in danger, you can call 999 for emergency help.
It’s not OK for anyone to emotionally abuse you and it’s not your fault that it’s happening. It sounds like your dad has been doing this and that your brother joins in. You’ve already done really well to let your mum and some of your teachers know about what’s going on. Sometimes it can be really important to carry on telling people about it so that they don’t assume that the problem has gone away. Perhaps you could also have a think about keeping a record of everything that your dad’s doing and saying so that you can show it to someone and they can read about what’s been happening.
You mentioned that you’re crying yourself to sleep and that sometimes you don’t sleep and I can tell that you’re feeling really upset. Maybe you could have a think about talking to someone who’s medically trained about your difficulties in sleeping. There’s also some information about sleeping on The Site website. I can tell that you don’t have conversations with your brother anymore and that you feel like you don’t have things in common with him. How would you feel about talking to your mum again and asking her to help support you?
From what you’ve said, it seems as though you’re having difficulties with your school work and that the help you’re getting doesn’t feel like it’s giving you what you need. Perhaps you could write a list of the things that you feel might work better and speak to someone at school about the type of support you think you need.
Remember that you can come through and talk to a ChildLine counsellor whenever you want to and it’s totally your choice which way you want to get in touch – by phoning free on 0800 1111, by emailing or by having a live 1-2-1 chat online. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.
Take care,
Sam