Hi there
Thank you for your letter. You did really well explaining how you feel. It does sound like a really difficult situation because even though it seems that your parents both love and care for you very much, you seem to feel there is something missing in the relationship that you have with them.
Your mum probably gets super stressed because she does want you to be ok. Mums and Dads usually spend a lot of their time caring for you, loving you and protecting you from the day you were born. This can make it very hard for them to let you go, even when you are growing up and becoming more independent. Parents are just people too and it’s ok to talk to them about how you are feeling and how their behaviour is affecting you.
Has your dad always been the way you describe? Maybe he feels bad about not being able to spend a lot of time with you too, and that he has to work when you are there? It sounds like there is a lot going on in his life as well that could be making him feel very stressed at the moment. But again, because he is a part of you and you are a part of him, how he acts and the things he goes through are going to affect you too. It’s ok to talk to him about it.
It sounds like it’s hard for you not knowing where your sister is. Have you ever talked to either of your parents about how this makes you feel? Do you know if you would want to meet her and if this is possible?
When you hug your dad or get a cuddle from him and get a tear in your eye, just shows how much you miss him. It’s natural that this would get to you. It’s hard not having a person who is so dear to you, around all the time. I’ve seen Monsters Inc and it is really sad when Sully and Boo get separated. Maybe you feel sad about this because you feel this is happening to you every time you have to say goodbye to your dad? What do you think?
I hope you feel like I’ve understood a bit of what’s going on for you and I realise I’ve asked you a lot of questions, but they are for you to think about. Really the most important thing is that you let your parents know, that how they act and the things that are happening in their lives, affects you too. You are growing up and while you may need them to see that, you may also need them to be there for you and acknowledge how you feel about things too.
I hope this helps a little and remember that you can always contact a ChildLine counsellor if you do need to talk again. You can either send ChildLine an email, go on 1-2-1 Chat or give us a ring (for free) on 0800 1111.
Take care
Sam