Hi there
Firstly I want to say how glad I am that you’re writing to me about this. It looks like it's really hard for you staying at home with your stepdad, and it seems like you’re running out of ways that you’re able to deal with him. It’s brilliant that you are talking about this.
Please know that nobody ever has the right to hit you like your stepdad did. I can imagine it being really scary having him going into these sudden rages, and it's good that you did feel able to stay with your friend when you needed to. It’s important to know that if you ever do feel immediately unsafe you have the right to call 999 any time to talk to the police. It can also help to think about things you can do in the future to stay safe if you do have to. It would be good to have a plan about who you might like to call or anywhere safe that you could go, if you are feeling unsafe at home or like you’re not able to stay there. It might be good for you to look at the ChildLine page on Physical abuse.
It sounds like staying at your friends house really helped you to take time away from what things are like at home. I can imagine it being hard having all of this happening and your mum not asking what had made you want to stay away. Sometimes it can be hard for people, even those who really care about you, to ask you how you are because it will mean having to talk about things they find difficult, or don't want to face.
I know you asked what should you do at the end of your letter, you look like you are quite trapped at home. It looks like your mum was scared herself when she said to you that he would make your lives hell if you two left him. At the same time, it’s important that you both think about what’s going to happen if things stay the way they are.
If we are not sure what to do, sometimes it can help to think about what might happen if we did certain things. You could think about what it might be like to tell your mum directly what happened with your stepdad, and exactly how you’re feeling living at home. You could think about the people you have in your life who might be able to support you to help make things change, like the friends that you’ve stayed with, any teachers that you might have a good relationship with or even anyone in the family who doesn’t normally live with you.
After you read this reply, it might be really good time to talk to one of the ChildLine counsellors. They can talk to you about anything that might be happening and talk about what you might like to do next. You can get in contact by phone on 0800 1111 (it’s a completely free number that won’t show up on any phone bills), online via the 1-2-1 chat or even by emailing them, like you did to me.
Take care
Sam