Hello
Thank you for writing to me. You’ve taken an important and brave first step in working to make your abuse stop. What your step-father did is wrong. No one has the right to treat you in this way.
You’ve said that you were first sexually abused when you were seven or eight year’s old and that this abuse has continued throughout your life. The abuse has got worse as the years went by and has left you feeling that you are on your own. You have difficulty sleeping and get drunk all the time. You also became pregnant and had a miscarriage.
It sounds like you have experienced a great deal of difficult emotions as a result of this abuse, with no support. It also sounds like you are having difficulty coping. I’m concerned that you are drinking all the time. This can seem like a way of coping, but it is likely to make you feel worse in the long term.
Perhaps, by drinking, you are trying to shut out the difficult emotions. This is why I would encourage you to talk about the abuse. It’s good that you felt able to talk to the woman at work. Talking can be the first step to recovery, I would encourage you to seek support from a counsellor. Your GP might be able to help you with this and there may be agencies in your area who work to help people who have suffered sexual abuse.
By talking, you might be able to come to terms with what happened and begin to find ways to cope better and begin to get your life back in control. Part of this process might involve talking to the police. A counsellor or a GP might have to talk to the police to make sure that you are safe and that your step-father does not abuse any other children.
I hope you are able to talk to a ChildLine counsellor. Some of the ways you can do this are by phoning free on 0800 1111, or sign up to the website and use online chat. ChildLine counsellors won’t judge you or put you down and they are not easily shocked. Instead, they will listen and help talk you through your options and decisions.
Take care
Sam