Hi there
Thanks for sending in your letter, it sounds like things at home really haven’t been easy for you and it’s great that you are talking about this to try and get some support.
Firstly, I want you to know that you did absolutely nothing wrong by rejecting her sister’s son in Pakistan. Nobody ever has the right to force you to marry someone when you don’t want to, whether it’s because it’s in another country or for any other reason.
It really sounds like it’s been difficult living with your mum and dad since all this happened and I’m worried to hear about the kinds of things that your mum has been saying. It sounds really scary to have your mum say that you won’t have a relationship with her when you get married and nobody should ever threaten to kill you. When I read that they had threatened you, I was very concerned about you. I was wondering if you had thought at all about what you could do to be safe. If you ever feel like you’re in danger at home or anywhere else, you have the right to call the police on 999 anytime. Remember that you have the right to feel safe wherever you are and have the right to get support anytime you need it.
Reading your letter, I can hear it’s been difficult for you to stay at home with the way things have been, especially when you're feeling like you’ve got nobody by your side. I’m worried that it’s making you feel like running away and even dying, it seems like you really want a way to be able to get out.
Sometimes it can help to think about people you trust outside of your family. You could think about what you'd like to happen if you were to talk to someone, like a teacher, to say what it’s been like at home. I know it can be really hard to say things like this out loud and if it helps you could write a letter to this person like you wrote to me.
It sounds like there is a lot happening at the moment and you might find it really helpful to talk to a ChildLine counsellor about what’s happening. You can speak to us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling on 0800 1111 (it’s free and won’t appear on any phone bills), by signing up to use the 1-2-1 chats or by email.
You might also find these numbers helpful:
Honour Network Helpline (0800 5999 247) – This offers support to anyone affected by forced marriage whether they went through with it or not and can offer support for anyone facing threats or violence from it. It’s open Monday – Friday, 9am – 5pm.
Forced Marriage Unit (0207 008 0151) – They offer emotional and practical support for anyone who is worried about forced marriage.
Take care
Sam