Hi there,
Thank you for your letter. It sounds like you’ve been having a tough time at the moment and I’m really pleased that you’ve contacted me to get some support.
You say you feel that you can’t get over your parents splitting up. It sounds like it’s been a big change for you and when it first happened there was a lot of difficult things going on at home between your mum and dad, with your mum struggling to cope, getting upset and annoyed, and your dad struggling with his bipolar disorder, getting angry and attacking.
You say you feel that you take your pain and anger out on your mum and that your always arguing but you wish things could go back to normal, spending time with each other. It sounds like at one time you feel like things were better between you and your mum and you want them to be like that again. I wonder how you’d feel about talking to your mum about that and about how you’re feeling. Maybe at a time when you’re both calm to see if you can find a way to spend more time together doing something you used to do together. If you don’t feel like you could say this to her maybe you could write it down in a letter, like you have done with this one.
You also ask about how you can be more relaxed around your dad. It sounds like what’s happened has made you feel anxious when you’re with him. I’m not sure whether you see dad alone or whether there are other people with you like your brothers when you see him. If you do see him alone I wonder whether you’d feel more comfortable with him if other people were there. Perhaps you could also have a think about any things that might make it more comfortable, maybe where you see him.
It sounds like your parents splitting up is something you’ve been talking to your friends about, but them telling you to get over it hasn’t been helpful. I wonder whether it might be interesting for you to take a look at the message boards on the ChildLine website. There’s a section on there where other young people have been discussing how they feel about their parents splitting up.
I’m concerned that you say that you’ve been feeling like you don’t want to get up in the morning, have tried hurting yourself before, and have been thinking maybe you should end it. I wonder how you’d feel about talking to a ChildLine Counsellor either on the phone on 0800 1111 or using the 1-2-1 chat service on the ChildLine website to talk about what’s been going on for you and how you’re feeling at the moment as they’d really like to support you and help you to stay safe.
You’ve been really brave to write to me.
Take care
Sam