Hi, and thanks for sending in a letter.
You’ve been very brave to talk about the sexual abuse you have suffered even though it sounds like this has been very difficult for you. Your feelings are completely normal and I’m thinking that you may have made the decision to tell your parents about the abuse because you feel that now is the time to speak out and get some help for yourself.
It sounds like your father is supporting you, although you’ve said your mother doesn’t believe you. When abuse happens in a family, it can sometimes come as a shock, and some people don’t want to believe that it could happen in their family. Maybe this is how your mother is feeling. Perhaps the reality of accepting that her son has abused you is difficult for her to take in.
You’ve said that your dad thinks the abuse has happened only once. Do you feel that you can tell him that it happened for two years? Also, you’ve not said anything about where your brother is now, and I’m wondering if he is still living at home with you and whether or not you feel safe.
It is also normal for the memories of the abuse to still affect you, which is why it is important to talk about your experiences of the abuse and your feelings. Talking about the abuse is likely to bring up difficult feelings as you begin to, or allow yourself to remember. It’s important that you receive the right support to help you with this. Perhaps there is a counsellor at your school, or one might be available through your GP. A counsellor should listen to you without any judgments and try to help you.
It’s important to know that talking about your abuse may have certain implications for you and your family. The GP or the counsellor might contact the police or social services because they might have concerns about your brother having access to other children. I would ask you to think about what you want to happen and I would also encourage you to stay in touch with ChildLine throughout this process, as we are here to provide whatever confidential support we can.
Good luck and take care
Sam