Hello
Thanks for your letter. It sounds as though you don’t feel safe at home anymore because your mum has started hitting you.
What your mum is doing is wrong and she should not be hitting you. This is making you feel really scared. It sounds like your mum is finding it difficult to cope and she should be getting help and not taking it out on you.
When you cut yourself you told your mum which made your relationship feel closer. Now that your mum is acting this way, it must be very confusing for you because you don’t know what the reason is.
Think about talking to her or writing her a letter telling her how scared she is making you feel. If you need some help doing that or don’t think it would work then come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor.
You can come and talk to a counsellor free on 0800 1111, by sending an email or through 1-2-1 chat. They are there to listen and help support you by working out the best way for you to get help. You can get in contact at anytime 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we're here if you need us.
Take care
Sam