Hi Linda
Thanks for your letter and being brave enough to get in touch about your friend.
I am really concerned to hear that your friend’s parents hit her and throw things at her. It sounds really dangerous that your friend was repeatedly hit on the head with hair straighteners. It is wrong what your friend’s parents are doing and is against the law. No one should ever hit anyone else.
It sounds like a scary situation that your friend is in and you sound like a good friend who she feels she can talk to about what is going on. It is great that she has someone to talk to about this. At the same time, I imagine it is a really difficult situation for you to be in. You say you have tried to convince her to get help and you don’t know what else to do. It is important to remember that whilst it is natural to want to help your friend, it is not your responsibility to do this on your own. There are other people who can help. So again, well done for getting in touch.
You describe how your friend is scared to go to the police or call ChildLine because she worries she will get taken away from her brother, friends and school. You also say she is too scared about how her mum will react if she finds out. These all seem like really natural reactions to such a difficult situation. It sounds like your friend has thought about talking to the police, and I hope she would call them on 999 if she felt scared and that her life was in danger. I wonder if it would help her to talk to ChildLine about what her options are and to help her understand more about what might happen if she asked for help. Talking about it might help her make a decision and we can be there to support her to do this.
At ChildLine we have a confidentiality policy which means that we wouldn’t tell anyone what your friend told us, unless we thought her life or someone else’s was in immediate danger. Perhaps this is something you could explain to your friend to see if she feels she could phone on freephone 0800 1111 or have an online 1-2-1 chat, knowing we wouldn’t tell anyone?
I hope you are taking care of yourself as worrying about a friend can be quite upsetting. You can always talk to ChildLine about how this might be affecting you.
Take care
Sam