Hi Hannah
Thank you for your letter. It is very brave of you to share your experience with me. I’m concerned about you, as it seems like you’re having a tough time at home.
It sounds like you are very aware of yourself and what is happening to you. You are able to recognise that your situation at home is making you feel ill and shaky, and it sounds like you are feeling scared to go back home from school.
You said that you are feeling like a failure when at home and always get grounded. It sounds like you are feeling under a lot of pressure at home and you are not being recognised for who you are. ChildLine believes that no one should say things that humiliate, embarrass or put you down.
You said that something has changed around ten months ago and since then, you have been self harming, trying to kill yourself and have stopped eating. I am really concerned about you and it maybe helpful to talk to one of our counsellors. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111, or sign up for a 1-2-1 chat online, any time of day or night.
You said that you have your bags packed and are ready to leave if things get any worse at home. Although running away may seem at times like the best option, it never is. It may also be useful for you to have a look at the www.runawayhelpline.org.uk. It gives lots of information and advice for children and young people who want to run away. You can also contact them by phone on 0808 800 7070. If you feel like running away, it maybe better to talk to someone about your situation at home. Remember you can always talk to one of our counsellors at ChildLine.
It is nice to hear that you like dancing and that you like eating healthily. It sounds like you are concerned that your healthy eating has changed and you are worried that you may have bulimia. It may help to look at www.b-eat.co.uk - a website which offers information and support to young people who are concerned about eating disorders. You could also look at ChildLine's information on the Eating problems page.
It sounds like you are feeling unsupported and not sure where to turn for help and what to do next. It may help to talk to someone about your situation at home. You can talk to your teacher, or someone who you trust at school, or ask to see a school counsellor. Remember you can always contact ChildLine. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111, or sign up and chat online, any time of day or night and speak with one of our counsellor who would be happy to listen, support and explore available options with you.
Take care,
Sam