Hi
Thanks for writing to me. It sounds as if things have been hard for you for a while now with your Mum, but that things have become more difficult recently. It can be really hard to tell others about things that are troubling you, and you have been really brave to share this with me.
Your Mum sounds as if she is very lucky to have someone who cares about her as much as you do, even stopping her from taking the tablets that one time. It really sounds as if this effort has got too much for you to handle and that you want it to stop.
You have been helping your Mum, but now it sounds like it is you that needs some support, as you don’t see the point in living at the moment. Your safety and how you feel have to be most important, I wonder if anyone knows how things are for you at home?
It is great that you have started by telling me, I wonder how you would feel about talking to someone you know who you trust? Perhaps you could start by speaking to someone at school who you feel comfortable with? You could tell them what is happening and how it is making you feel.
It's clear you have tried hard to help your Mum so far, and this could be a way for you both to get the help you need now. Please remember that Childline are always here if you need someone to talk to, especially if you are feeling at a real low point.
I wonder how you would feel having a look at the Message board on the ChildLine website, this is place to see how other people are coping with things they are experiencing, and could be a place where you get more support for yourself.
Take care
Sam