Hello,
Thank you for sending your letter to me. I can hear that you’re very concerned about the way your girlfriend’s step-dad is treating her, and how this is affecting her relationships with the rest of her family.
This sounds like a very lonely experience for your girlfriend. Everyone deserves to feel safe and happy at home.
Your girlfriend’s step-dad is bullying and manipulating her, and it has now got to the point were she feels isolated, upset and sad. This is emotional abuse.
He has made threats of breaking up the family if she does decide to speak out about what he’s doing. It sounds as though she’s scared of what would happen if she told someone and she may feel responsible for the outcome, but it’s not her fault.
I imagine it is very reassuring for her to know that you’re looking out for her. You’re very supportive and have suggested lots of ways to try to change things, but it’s impossible for her to take your advice because he blocks everything she tries to do. I imagine this can feel very frustrating for you too.
It’s important that your girlfriend tries to speak to an adult that she trusts and she tries to keep safe at home, if she feels threatened or in danger she can ring 999 to speak to the police, or call ChildLine.
If your girlfriend doesn’t feel ready to speak to her mum or another adult how would it be if you suggested that she talks to a ChildLine counsellor directly?
She would be able to talk further about how things are at home for her, and begin to think of ways she can get support and support herself. She could practice with the counsellor what she would like to say if she does decide to tell someone.
There are different ways to contact us, calling 0800 1111, this number is free and doesn’t show on a phone bill. She can also come online to have a 1-2-1 chat (similar to instant messaging), or send an email.
It was a big step to write to me. ChildLine is here for you and your girlfriend whenever you’d like to talk.
Take care,
Sam