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Ask Sam

Topic i want to move out 

Question

To Sam 

3/12/11 9.20am 

i want to move out 

hi i live in a house with my mum my step dad and my step sister.
we have really bad fights all the time and im the one who gets blamed and punished. my step dad causes all the fights and last night he threatened to break my legs and beat me up. my i did wrong but i just slammed one door. my mum though hearing the argument says that it is my fault. also i had a cyst on my brain and im not supposed to be hit in the head, but he went to punch me in the head. my dad dosn't like the things he hears about. i just found out that my mum has been lying to me since i was 9.  i was allowed to move out at 7 but because i was too young to make a decision everyone decided to wait till i was 9. im now 13 and no one has asked if i want to move except for my dad and brother. i want to move out because i will get out of all the fighting but im too scared of what it will do to my mum. also everytime my brother comes round she is always so happy so i think it will make us get along more. i just need help to move out.

Sam's answer

Sam 

15/12/11 10.49am 

Hello there

Thank you for your letter.

You have done really well to write to me about what is happening for you at the moment at home. You mention in your letter that there is a lot of really bad fights at home and that you usually get the blame and are punished for them. It is not ok for anyone to ever hit you or threaten to harm you in any way. 

You say in your letter that it was decided that you couldn’t move out of your house to live with you dad until you were 9 as the family around you thought that you were too young to make the decision. Now you are 13 and you are wondering why no one has asked you again if you still want to make that move. Here at ChildLine we would like to support you and help you to look at your options, because you have the right to be heard.

It might be helpful for you to know that you can come through and talk to a counsellor at ChildLine on the phone on 0800 11 11 (which is free from most phones including mobiles and doesn’t show up on any phone bill) or you can also come through to speak to someone via out website for a 1-2-1 online chat (like MSN).

You do have a right to be heard and to have a voice, to be able to talk about things in a safe space without any comment from anyone else. There are many supporting organisations such as the Children's Legal Centre available that ChildLine can explore with you, seeing which one could serve you best in supporting your right to be heard. 

You have done so well to talk about how it is at home for you and what you might like to happen next.

Take care,

Sam

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