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Ask Sam

Topic Social Services 

Question

To Sam 

26/02/2011 9:47pm 

Social Services 

I have considered asking social services to put me into care... my mum and i are having huge huge arguments all the time ad she emotionaly abuses me and my sister, and sometimes physically ( i think... if smacking counts as physical abuse?). and my 8 year old sister hurts me... more than juster sibling rivalry... she leaves bruises. it actually makes me feel ashamed... my 8 year old sister is bating me up! and im 12! But im not sure about the impact of moving away would do to her. She is a recovering alcoholic... and by moving away i really really dont want her to re-lapse. But  i dont want t live with her at the moment. I have no idea what to do! do you have any suggestions on what i could do so that both me and my mum are healthy? i feel that if i stay with her il get depressed. but if i leave, she'l turn to alcohol. Please help!!??!!

Lots of love,

Sweetsugarpie0207 xxxxxxxxxxx

Sam's answer

Sam 

11/03/2011 1:02 pm 

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. It sounds like things are really hard for you with your mum and sister at the moment. You say your mum abuses you emotionally and you are right when you say your mum hitting you is physical abuse. 

You say you are ashamed that your sister is hitting you and I want you to know that it is wrong that your sister is hurting you in this way. It sounds like your sister may also be finding it hard to cope with how things are at home too and sometimes when young people feel that way they find it difficult to know how to express their feelings and so lash out at other people. Perhaps this is what your sister is doing with you and it sounds like she may need some support alongside you.

When you talk about your mum it sounds like you might be feeling responsible for her well being and making sure she is ok. I want you to know that you are not responsible for your mum or what she does. However, I can hear that you care about your mum and would like to get her some support as well.

You have talked about asking social services to put you into care and it is a good idea to tell someone about what is going on. If you tell social services about what is happening they may be able to work with you, your mum and sister to try to find a solution which is best for all of you. If you tell social services what you want to happen they would take this into account when deciding how best to support you and your family.

You can always come and talk to one of ChildLines counsellors about how you are feeling. You can sign up for a ChildLine account and use 1-2-1 chat, send an email or phone for free on 0800 1111. Counsellors are ready to take your call 24 hours a day to listen. 

Take care

Sam

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