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Ask Sam

Topic My Life ?????????? 

Question

To Sam 

25/05/2011 10:30pm 

My Life ?????????? 

Hi Sam

i heard of a lot of people that you are good to talk to, so i thought i'd tell you my situation. Basically my life is not so good  because i am in care and i do feel ok most of the time. it's just my parents, they don't understand how much i want them to stop the fighting, drugs and drinking.  what do i do to get them to stop??????????????

Sam's answer

Sam 

31/05/2011 5:08pm 

Hi there

It’s great that you felt able to write in and tell me a bit about what is going on for you.  It does sound as if you are going through a really hard time at the moment, and it sounds as if you would really love your parents to change how they behave so things could be better. 

You have asked what you can do to get them to stop the fighting, drugs and drinking – it’s important for you to remember that you are not responsible for this situation and it is not up to you to change anything because none of this is your fault.  Your parents are adults and they need to be the ones who change things.  Sometimes when people are dependant on alcohol or drugs, this can make it very difficult for them to make positive decisions and actions.  It does not mean that they do not care or that they wouldn’t change things if they felt they could.  I do not know much about your situation so it is hard for me to comment on what is happening with your mum and dad.

You have mentioned being in care – I am wondering who it is that looks after you and how often you see your parents or spend time with them.  Are you able to talk to the people who look after you about what happens at home and how you are feeling?  Have you been able to discuss this with your social worker? Sometimes it can help to write things down for people if you find it hard to talk face to face. Many young people, like yourself, are in similar situations and you can find out more information by visiting the living in care page. Remember, you are not alone and there are people who want to help and be there for you.

You might also want to sign up and use the online chat to talk more with a counsellor about what is going on for you, or you can ring a counsellor on 0800 1111.  The counsellors at ChildLine are here to listen and support and it may be good to have a chance to talk things through. 

Take care

Sam

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