I live at home with my Mum and brothers. My mum has been depressed, on and off, since I can remember. She has been through a ~lot~ including things like rape, death of my dad and other friends and family, a violent relationship with my step-dad, drinking problems etc etc..you get me?
And I've been there through it. I can't take it anymore. I'm 14. I haven't been to school in 3 weeks+ and I'm just..rock bottom. I'm meant to be going to counselling but I don't think I can do it. I've been low for a couple of years now but never quite so ~alone~ as I am now. I have no friends and I live in a tiny village, isolated. I want to move away but I have no family to go to and no money anyway. I don't want to leave my younger brother alone, as my older one is going to university.
I've considered ays of killing myself but could never do it because of my little brother. I've tried starving myself as a way of coping.. I couldn't go on any longer, faking a smile everyday, with people making fun of me - oblivious to what I'm going through, so I ended up digging myself into a hole and now I'm stuck.
Poeple think I'm pathetic because of not going to school and not giving a proper reason, but I can't. I have trust issues and struggle to talk to anyone and I don't what to do or where to turn to..please can you help me?