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Ask Sam

Topic Unhappy New Year 

Question

To Sam 

01/01/2012 00:43 

Unhappy New Year 

My parents don't fight too often, but when they do I get really scared. It's my stepdad who has been living with me since I was about 4, and I am now 13 so he feels like a real father to me now. They had a big big row on new years eve, and my mum was in her bed when the bells went off, so we werent as a family in the first minute of 2012. Me and my sister are both really scared that this is going to carry on for the whole year, and that we might lose one of our parents. I don't know what I'd do without him, and I don't know if I could cope if my parents split up.

My mum and dad were both drinking on New Years eve, and I don't know if this could have an affect on the outcome of this fight. What could I do??xx

Sam's answer

Sam 

01/01/2012 15:32 

Hi there,

You’ve done really well to getting in touch and sharing how you’re feeling.  I can tell that you and your sister are frightened that the arguments will continue for the rest of the year and that your parents might split up.  Your Stepdad is obviously very important to you and you don’t want to lose him from your life. 

Perhaps you could talk to your parents about your worries, letting them know what the argument was like for you and that you’re worried about losing your Stepdad.  Sometimes it can feel difficult to talk to someone face to face or to find the right moment.  If you’re finding it hard to speak to them about how you feel, remember that you could always write it down and give it to them to read.

You mentioned that you weren’t sure whether your parents’ drinking had anything to do with the fight.  If you’re concerned about how much or how often they drink, it might help to talk to the National Alcohol Helpline, Drinkline on 0800 917 8282.  They’re open Monday to Friday 9 to 11pm and weekends from 6pm – 11pm.  There’s also more information about parents and alcohol on the ChildLine website. 

The New Year seems to have got of to a difficult start.  ChildLine are here for you if you ever feel as though you’d like to talk things through with a counsellor. You can contact a counsellor by calling free on 0800 1111, through 1-2-1 chat online or by sending an email.

Thank you for writing to me about what things are like for you.  The holiday season can be a difficult time for families and you’ve been really brave to share your experience. I hope the rest of the year gets better for you. 

Whatever happens, ChildLine is always here to talk to.

Take care,

Sam

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