Hi there,
Thank you for your letter.
From what you have said in your letter it sounds like it’s really difficult for you to express your feelings around your family without having your feelings hurt. What happened to you when you were younger really hurt you and was not you fault. You haven’t mentioned if, or how, the physical abuse has stopped but it is important to let you know that if you ever need any help with this you can contact us anytime and we will be happy to talk to you about what you can do about it.
You have said that your family thinks you are stupid if you cry or get upset and don’t ignore people if they are nasty to you. It’s really not helpful for them to say this to you as it sounds like they really don’t understand what it is like for you. You describe yourself as hurting inside worse than the physical abuse did on the outside. The way you feel sounds like a natural response to what you experienced and I can see how that would feel very scary for you. You have been very brave and you have done well by writing to me. Sometimes talking about painful feelings for the first time with a trusted person can help release some of the pain. This is why I am suggesting to you that it might be helpful in speaking to a counsellor at ChildLine.
The counsellors will listen, support and be there for you to help get you through a difficult time - you can call them on 0800 1111 or sign up for an account and use online chat.
I hope you have found this helpful.
Take care,
Sam