Hi and thank you for writing to me.
It sounds as if you are having a really tough time right now. You have said that you feel your life is messed up so much that you want to kill yourself. Sometimes it feels as if no one cares and no-one understands which can be really hard to handle, and maybe make you feel like you are alone with all your problems. I want you to know that although sometimes life can be hard, you don’t have to go through it alone.
I’m wondering if anyone else knows how you really feel? Perhaps you could think about talking to an adult that you trust such as a relative, friend or teacher as this could be really helpful.
I can see that you are feeling very low right now and an option that you might want to think about is speaking to your doctor. They would be able to offer you support and advice with what’s happening for you and maybe let you know what services are there to help you in your area.
I think you have been really brave writing to me. Here at ChildLine we have some trained counsellors who will listen and support you through this very difficult time you’re having. You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor by phone on 0800 1111 or sign up for an account and chat online. You might also find it helpful to have a look at the ChildLine message boards which are a space where young people can share their experience and advice.
Take care,
Sam