I am really pleased that you took the time to write to me. Sharing how you feel is a really positive step to take. You mentioned in your letter that things have not been going well in your family life for some years since D* moved in with your mom. I can see that this has seriously affected your life too. It sounds like you moved from a supportive environment with your mom, brother, grandma and aunt to the life you have now which is completely different.
You mention that D* gets drunk, is physically abusive to your mom, that he hurts your family and curses you. He hasn’t got a job so this affects the family finances and the way he speaks to you stops you from bringing friends over to your house.
Your letter tells me lots about what is going on in your life right now and it is great that you can be really honest about that. What you don’t seem to be saying is how you feel about all of this. I wonder how you are coping from day to day with the fighting and the emotional abuse which affects home life and your wider circle of friends. It almost sounds as though you have cut yourself off from your feelings in an effort to cope with what has happened over the years and I want you to know that you don’t have to cope with this alone anymore.
ChildLine has trained counsellors available that you can talk to at any time by either ringing 0800 1111 or logging into 1-2-1 chat. If you choose to you can also look at the message boards on the ChildLine website which provide support about a range of subjects. There is even a board where young people have written messages about home and family relationships.
I hope that you will think about talking to a counsellor in the near future. ChildLine is confidential and that means that we won’t tell anyone what you have said unless you want us to or are in immediate life threatening danger. If you (or someone else in your house) are ever in danger you can ring 999 to get help fast.