Hello
Thank you for taking the time to get in touch with us at ChildLine and to tell us what has been going on for you. You told me how since you were aged 8 when your mum began to date the man who became your step dad, that you didn’t really get on, but you were civil with each other. However, over time things began to change and he became verbally and physically abusive to you, your mum and your siblings. Eventually this resulted in you being kicked out of the house, the police becoming involved, and you now no longer have contact with your mum. All of this resulted in you feeling like you are rubbish, that you are depressed, and also feeling that you would like to be dead.
Your stepdad had no right to treat you and your family they way he did, and it was not your fault that he behaved that way. It is clear that you feel that your mum also was responsible for some of what happened as she didn’t seem to stop him, and now she does not reply when you contact her. Sometimes when there is violence or abusive behaviour in a family (this is called domestic violence or domestic abuse), the other people who are being abused may not act in ways that we might ordinarily expect them to. Your mum has been a victim of your stepdad’s behaviour too, but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t deserve to be protected by her in the past, and it doesn’t mean that you deserve to be ignored or have no contact with her now.
It seems like you could do with some support and help with all that you’ve gone through. You can speak with a ChildLine counsellor anytime you’d like to, and you can get in touch with us through an online 1-2-1 chat (which is a bit like MSN), email or calling us on 0800 1111.
Take care,
Sam