Hi Amber,
Thanks for your message. You’ve told me a lot about what happens at home and it’s important to know that it’s wrong that your parents have done these things to you.
What you’ve described is three different kinds of abuse: sexual, physical and emotional. Abuse affects each person in different ways, what’s important is making sure that you are aware of how it is affecting you.
You’ve told me about how your dad sexually abused you. Sexual abuse can be really confusing as well as hurtful because sometimes it brings up feelings and emotions that we can’t explain. It’s common for young people to tell us that they, “feel dirty” after being sexually abused. You should know that what your dad did to you is not your fault and it never is, no matter what happened.
You also described being physically abused by being pushed into the bath of boiling water. It’s never okay for an adult to hurt you, nobody has the right to do that. Being hurt at home can have other effects too, if you don’t feel safe at home it’s hard to be happy and relaxed.
You also described a third type of abuse: emotional. There might not be any physical pain from emotional abuse but it is still wrong. Being told you should commit suicide is one way of being abused emotionally. Other ways could be if you’re put down all the time or shouted at a lot.
How you cope with what happens at home is something that is also different for everyone. It sounds like the abuse you have gone through has had an effect on the rest of your life, such as your school work. I’m feeling really concerned that you want to end your life. It might feel like there’s no other way out for you, but I want to let you know that there is.
Everything you’ve told me about what your parents do is illegal and wrong and you can put a stop to it. It’s a big decision to make, but ChildLine can help you make that decision and then work to help you change things once you decide you are ready. The first step is talking to us about it and that’s something you could do today.
ChildLine counsellors are here and ready to listen and support you. Why not call us free on 0800 1111. Calls won't show up on a house or a mobile phone bill. You can also speak to a counsellor online if you prefer.
I’m really glad you told me what’s happening and I’m hoping we can support you even more.
Take care
Sam