Hi there,
Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like things are really tough for you right now.
I can see that you love your mum and respect her in many ways - you have said that she brought you up for 16 years since your dad’s not been around. However, your mum does not have the right to hit you or swear at you. This is called abuse, it is wrong and it is not your fault. Find out more about abuse in the Explore section.
It sounds like you think your mum drinks too much. I can see that you would like your mum to realise she needs help, and then to get help. I can understand why you might feel this way, at the same time please remember that she is an adult, this is a decision that she needs to take and it's her responsibility to get help not yours.
You might find it helpful to have a look at Alateen which gives information for young people affected by someone (like a family member) with alcohol problems. There is also the National Association for Children of Alcoholics which offers information, advice and support. They have a free-phone helpline which is 0800 358 3456.
You have said that she becomes aggressive and violent towards you when she is drunk. The drinking does not excuse her actions; she is an adult and you have the right to be safe. It is important that you know that, if ever you feel you are in danger, you have the right to call 999 and ask for help.
You write that you self harm and I am concerned to hear that. You have not said how you feel about this. I know that a lot of young people find that hurting themselves physically can help them to cope with the hurt they are feeling mentally or emotionally. Sometimes talking about the feelings behind the self harm can really help.
If you self harm is important to do it as safely as possible and this is something that you could talk to a counsellor about if you would like. You might also like to have a look at the ChildLine Self harm message board which are a space where young people can share their experiences and advice.
You have said that you don’t know if you can take it much more - please know that you deserve to be safe, happy and cared for. I get the impression that you are not sure what to do. Perhaps you could talk with a ChildLine counsellor either by phone on 0800 1111 or using online chat (which works like msn). The counsellors would be able to offer you support with how you are feeling and help you to think about your options and what you might like to happen.
Take care,
Sam