Hi
Thanks for deciding to write to me about this. I can hear that things that are happening at home are really affecting how you feel at the moment. It also sounds like some of the time you don’t feel very safe at home, which worries me. All young people have the right to feel safe where they live, and if you ever feel in danger because of the way your Dad is acting it would be alright for you to phone 999. You could also phone ChildLine and tell us about what is going on.
It sounds like you feel quite nervous when your Dad is around, even though you love him a lot. You mentioned that your Dad changes when he goes out to drink. Loving someone who is treating you badly can be a really difficult thing to cope with. Being screamed at by him seems like a hard thing for you to cope with, and it is understandable that you are feeling depressed. Perhaps you could have a look at the message boards on the website, and think about talking to other young people on the ‘Home and Family Relationships’ or the ‘Alcohol, Smoking and Drugs’ message boards.
You said hearing your Mum scream and cry is scary, and that is very understandable – you didn’t say whether you think your Dad hits your Mum when they fight, but if he does, that is against the law. You can find out more about that on the Domestic Violence page in the Explore section.
You’ve explained that you feel worried about what will happen if you talk to anyone. It sounds as though you are concerned that bringing the arguments up when people aren’t fighting will start another fight. It’s important to try to remember that the fights aren’t your fault.
You’ve told me you want the fights to stop. I’m wondering what it would be like to write down some of what you want to say, and give it to your Mum or Dad in a letter? If you want to talk more about anything that is happening, and ways to deal with it then you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor on 0800 1111, or sign up for an account and chat online.
Take care
Sam