Hi there and thank you for writing to me.
It sounds as though things are really tough at home right now. You have told me that mum has recently split up with her boyfriend and is now talking about meeting someone she has met on the internet. It can be difficult when our parents make decisions that we are not happy with, it is important to remember that you are not responsible for mum.
You say that mum gets drunk almost every night and constantly shouts at you and your little sister, a few days ago mum started hitting your sister and shouting at her telling her she is useless and worthless, this is called emotional abuse. It is really important that you remember that no one, not even your mum has the right to hit either you or your sister, this is called physical abuse, what makes this even more hurtful is the fact that when your younger brothers come at the weekends, she is really happy to see them.
I wonder if you might find it helpful to have a look at these pages in Explore, the first is about Physical abuse, and the second Emotional abuse. This is what's happening when mum shouts at you and your sister in the way that you have told me.
When you spoke to your friend, you asked her not to tell anyone about what has been happening as you are afraid of what might happen if someone knew. It sounds as though you and your little sister are really scared of mum. Perhaps you could think about what it might be like to tell someone what has been happening, perhaps another family member, teacher or School counsellor, someone you feel comfortable talking to. I wonder if you could also think about what it might be like at home if you decide to do nothing. It seems that your family could really do with some support right now, finding the courage to tell someone about what is happening, is the first step to getting it.
It sounds like this was a really frightening experience for both of you. You say you ran to your friend’s house and told her what was happening. I’m glad that you have someone you feel you can share this with.
You have also mentioned to me that you started to cut yourself as a let out until you started to listen to a band. It sounds like this is a distraction for you. Another way of letting things out is to talk to someone. I wonder how you might feel about talking to one of the counsellors at ChildLine. They are there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you can talk about anything and they will not tell anyone what you have told them, unless they felt your life were in immediate danger. If you are unsure you can read more about the confidentiality policy. You can either call on 0800 1111 or chat online.
You have done the right thing by writing to me today, it takes courage to tell someone that things aren’t right at home.
Take care for now,
Sam