Hi there
Thank you for getting in touch to talk about a really upsetting situation for you that you have tried really hard to resolve.You mention that your mum and you argue a lot which you don’t like, but that also your mum and dad argue in quite a heated way, which leaves you feeling the need to escape to your room for some refuge.
It feels that the arguments are because you can’t stand each other, and that now you’re often feeling really upset and scared. Firstly, let me say that this isn’t ok for your mum to be causing you to be feeling this way, no matter what the situation. Although you say that your mum has never physically hurt you, it seems that she is causing you emotional pain.
It seems from what you have said that you have taken a really responsible attitude towards this in the past, even being able to enlist your dad’s help, and that seemed to work for a little while but didn’t last. I think that it might be time to ask for some more help as it isn’t possible for you to resolve this on your own.
When you spoke to your dad before, it seems that he was supportive and tried to take some action to sort this out. Do you feel you could talk to him again and say exactly what you have told me? It may be that he might be able to get the whole family some help in being able to address the problems, and one way to get this help might be for him, and possibly you as well, to talk to the family doctor? If this isn’t an option right now, maybe he, or you, could talk to another member of the family who your mum might listen to and take notice of?
Most importantly, you cannot be expected to find the solution to this on your own, as you’ve mentioned you are only 11 years old and your family need to support and care for you. Firstly, try to write down some of the things that are upsetting you, maybe just how you have described it to me, and show it to your dad again or another adult you trust to ask them to help with this.
You can also contact a ChildLine counsellor to get advice as they would be happy to talk to you about this and even help you write the list if you want. You can talk to any of the counsellors either by phone on 0800 1111, email or a 1-2-1 online chat.
I hope this helps, best wishes,
Sam