Hi there
Thanks for your message. When I read letters like yours it is a reminder of just how complicated and difficult it can be when families separate. While it is not an ideal situation for anyone it is possible to live through it and cope with all the ups and downs if you have the right support. From what you say you seem to be okay staying with your dad as this means you still see both your parents and your brothers. However you’ve mentioned that your parents continue to argue and both your parents say things to you which leave you feeling confused. It sounds like this is a difficult time for you and young people often tell ChildLine that they feel caught in the middle of their parent’s arguments.
It’s important that your parents realise how this makes you feel as they may not have been totally aware of how tough this has been for you. Perhaps you could think about speaking to your parents about this. Maybe your nan could help you to speak to your parents if that would make you feel more comfortable. If you don’t feel you can say this face to face then maybe think about writing them each a letter to share how you feel about your current situation.
Remember you aren’t responsible for how your parent’s behave. They are adults and should learn to sort out their problems without getting you caught in the middle. So think about getting some more support to talk about how this makes you feel. You might find it useful to check out ChildLine’s message boards for some support from other young people who may be going through a similar situation.
You may also find this website useful www.itsnotyourfault.org.uk - it offers advice and support for young people whose parents are separating .
ChildLine counsellors are also here for you when you need to talk, so think about contacting our free telephone helpline on 0800 1111 or try 1-2-1 online chat.
Take care
Sam