Hi there
Thanks for getting in touch, I’m really pleased you wrote to me. I can see that things are difficult for you at the moment. You're not sure who you can talk to about what’s happening and you feel your mum won’t understand.
It’s clear that you really miss your dad and you liked how he was able to understand you. You say your mum’s fiancé John is trying to be like a dad to you and you believe he never could be. I’m wondering whether that’s what makes it upsetting when John and your mum seem really close. I’m also wondering if this is what makes you think your mum wouldn’t care if you left.
When a relationship is new, some people feel the need to show their affection openly. Their need to do this can change as their relationship develops.
You say you are thinking about running away and I am wondering what it would be like if you did. I feel worried that you might place yourself in a situation where you could be in danger. Some young people run away and then find themselves without a place to stay or money for food and so on.
I read that you have started to drink alcohol to release your anger and this is worrying as drinking can cause many problems for young people. Sometimes it helps to try to find other ways to release anger such as writing things down, drawing or taking exercise.
It sounds like things at school and with your brothers are also getting you down. Talking things through with a counsellor could help you with your feelings and support you to find a way forward. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111 for free or sign up for an account to use the 1-2-1 online chat.
Take a look at the Explore section which has lots of useful information on different topics such as alcohol and the message boards where young people can share their thoughts, feelings and ideas.
Take Care
Sam