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Topic Another brother and sister 

Question

To Sam 

18/12/2010 12:35pm 

Another brother and sister 

When i was 5 and my little brother was just 1 my mum and dad spilt up because he was cheating . Me and my brother went to see him a few days a week and some weekends but then i found out i was going to have another little brother or a sister . I was quite happy, it was a new brother then things turned bad . I didnt like my step mum that much she ruined special time with my dad so i stopped staying at weekends or i would give in when he came to pick me up i told lies and it stopped me going to see my dad . Its been 4 years since i have spoken to my dad i have a sister as well now i sometimes see my half brother because he plays with my other brother some times but if i haddent of told the lies i would still be going to see my dad i really miss him and i regret telling my mum the lies about my dad i wish i could just talk to him and give him a big hug i tell the rest of my family i hate my dad but i love him really i just want to keep the rest of my family happy my little brother now aged 8 worships the ground my dad walks on but he does nothing for us when we walk past him he ignores us i jus wish i could see him again.
Sam's answer

Sam 

27/12/2010 11:20am 

Hi

Thank you for writing to me.

The first thing I need to say is that you are very brave for telling me what's happened, and I really appreciate your honesty in talking about how this has affected you.

It feels like you want to have a relationship with your dad but don't know how to go about that without upsetting the rest of the family. I think that's a difficult problem to have, but it may not be an impossible one. It's difficult for me to say what you should do next, because families are often complicated and sometimes the children aren't asked what they would like to happen.

I wonder how you would feel about talking to a counsellor at ChildLine about your problem? ChildLine won't be able to solve your problem, but I do know that talking things through with someone often helps people feel that they are not alone. That's important because it feels like you are taking on all the responsibility for what's happened, and really the adults in your family need to look after you - and that means looking after your relationship with your dad.

I really hope you'll contact ChildlLine to talk about this, the phones lines are open 24 hours every day and calls are free (call 0800 1111), or you could chat to a counsellor online on the ChildLine website.

Take care and good luck

Sam

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