Hi
Thank you for writing to me.
The first thing I need to say is that you are very brave for telling me what's happened, and I really appreciate your honesty in talking about how this has affected you.
It feels like you want to have a relationship with your dad but don't know how to go about that without upsetting the rest of the family. I think that's a difficult problem to have, but it may not be an impossible one. It's difficult for me to say what you should do next, because families are often complicated and sometimes the children aren't asked what they would like to happen.
I wonder how you would feel about talking to a counsellor at ChildLine about your problem? ChildLine won't be able to solve your problem, but I do know that talking things through with someone often helps people feel that they are not alone. That's important because it feels like you are taking on all the responsibility for what's happened, and really the adults in your family need to look after you - and that means looking after your relationship with your dad.
I really hope you'll contact ChildlLine to talk about this, the phones lines are open 24 hours every day and calls are free (call 0800 1111), or you could chat to a counsellor online on the ChildLine website.
Take care and good luck
Sam