Hi
Thanks for talking to me about this. It sounds like you are developing a sense of who you are as an individual & this can sometimes conflict with what others say you should be.
It is concerning to hear that this is affecting you to the point where you self-harm, in a way that could cause you severe injury.
You talk about many issues that impact upon your confidence and it may help you to know that feeling negative toward yourself is something that can be helped.
However, you need to find a way that suits you.
Take a look at the message boards to see how young people support each other with these issues and you can also speak to someone in confidence at ChildLine.
Another useful place to go for information is www.youngminds.org.uk/young-people
Take care
Sam