Hi there
It sounds like you’re having a really tough time at the moment with all these emotions and feelings and not knowing whether to run away, hit someone, cry or just give up! It must be so hard to cope when you are keeping all these feelings inside, and no one knows how you are really feeling.
I’m so glad you have been able to write to me and tell me what’s been going on for you and I wonder how you would feel about telling someone else?
If you are worried that you might be depressed it may be a good idea to talk to your doctor about this. At least you will know one way or another and the doctor can advise on ways to help you.
I’m wondering what stops you from talking to your mum or dad? Maybe you can think about talking to one of them or, if not, is there anyone you trust that you could talk to about your feelings? This could be a relative, friend or teacher at school (the school may have a counsellor).
I think it would be really helpful if you could talk to one of the counsellors at ChildLine. You can either phone on 0800 1111, or use the 1-2-1 online chat. Calling them is free and doesn’t show up on your phone bill and it is confidential (that means that they will not tell anyone else what you talk about with a counsellor, unless they think you are in immediate danger).
ChildLine counsellors are there to listen to you and not judge you in any way, and you can express whatever feelings you have, anytime you want.
Take care,
Sam.