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Topic Joining the army 

Question

To Sam 

15/06/2011 12:38am 

Joining the army 

I cant talk to my dad about the army because he just plain doesnt want me to join up, but ill have to tell him sooner or later. My mum is ok she encourages me, how do i tell my dad?, im 15 nearly 16 by the way. I wouldnt be going to any peacekeeping missions until im 18. What do i do?

Sam's answer

Sam 

15/06/2011 4:20pm 

Hi there

Some things can be really hard to talk about with your parents, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible. It seems like this is really important to you, and it’s good that you’ve had the chance to talk to your mum about how you feel.

Have you tried to find out what makes your dad so set against the idea of you going into the army? Parents are people too, they have feelings and worries and concerns just like everyone else. Do you think that your dad might be very worried for you? It can be hard to talk about how scared some things make us feel and perhaps your dad worries that you may get hurt. Maybe he has strong feelings about the military that make him not want you to join. It can be hard to know what to do or say if you don’t know where his feelings are coming from.

Perhaps you can sit down with your dad and your mum and talk to him about what makes him feel so strongly about not wanting you to go into the army. Talking openly and honestly with your parents can show them that you have thought about this and that this is something that you feel strongly about. It can be hard to do – your mum and dad have spent the last 15 years taking care of you and making sure you don’t get hurt and now you are telling them you want to do this. It can be hard for a mum or a dad to take.

It seems like your mum is more open to this idea so maybe you can talk to her about what way she may think is best to approach this with your dad. You could also write him a letter and invite him to write one back to explain where he is coming from.

Talking through difficult situations can be hard, but it can also be the best way for a relationship between two people to grow and be stronger.

I hope this helps.

Take care

Sam

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