Hi there
I’m very sorry to hear that you are struggling like this. It sounds like you are trying to cope with some really difficult feelings. When you say that you try to get away, is that when you ran away? Sometimes things can get so bad that you might feel like running away is the only option, but running away doesn’t solve the problem and can sometimes put you in more danger and cause more problems.
You did really well to write about this – it can sometimes be really hard to know what to do and that’s when it’s important to ask for help. At the end of the day, no one has all the answers by themselves. It's OK to ask for help, you don't have to manage on your own. You have made a really good step to talk to me today – that was really brave and a great way of getting some advice.
You say you have tried everything, maybe you can talk with a ChildLine counsellor online or by calling 0800 1111 and tell them a bit more about what you have tried and how that has worked out. That can help them to work with you towards a better solution than running away or suicide. Even when times get very dark there is always a choice – there are always people out there who can help. You have already made the first step towards doing that today. Don’t give up! ChildLine is here for you and will listen to you no matter how low you feel. You don’t have to go through this on your own.
If you are ever in danger remember that you can always call the police on 999 – they are there to protect and help you.
Take care
Sam