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To Sam 8/8/11 5.27pm	things at home hey, im katee , im 12/13 and i live with my mum ,dad and my sisters some times comes over. i have had enough off this, my mum doesnt hurt me anymore, but she had left me with brusies ,shes slapped me,and she once pulled me up the stairs by my hair!and she straggled me with my scalf,and she said it was all my fault, i feel really bad writing this but i want it too stop,i dont think its fair that i have too go through this,i dont want my mum and dad tooo get in trouble cos its not that serious, but i want it too stop! i dont know what too do anymore! they make me so angry, i cant control myslef! sometimes i think too myself is there something wrong with me cos i know i shouldnt be like this at all and i should be really respectfull , but dont get me wrong i always try too be but sometimes my lid just blows off! my sisters doesnt even realise what goes on, cos shes not here half the time! but she still takes there side! and that really annoyes me cos she doesnt know the half off it! i wish i didnt have too do this but i need too, my mum and dad said too me about 3/4 weeks ago that they didnt want me any more, and that they was going toto ring the people who deal with putting kinds if foster homes, so i tried too run away but thats not the first time i've ran for it! but i always end up either made too come back or i decide too....i really dont know what too do:/ so i really need your help? i know you probably think that im over reacting and just doing this for the sake off it, but im really not! i wouldnt make all of this up and then send you a letter, if i was, would i? i dont want things to get any worse cos i love my family so much and they mean the world too me, but they make me feel like i want too die! before i have done self harm before and no body knows about it! i mean its not like i dont get things , cos i got a new ipod for chirstmas last year and i cried! and in march i got a new phone, and i was really happy and i couldnt stop thanking them! but they make it seem like i was really ungrateful and that i couldnt care less! alll i want is some advice and nothing else, please tell me what i should do cos i really dont know anymore! thankyou for listening and i hope i get a letter back! love katee:)
Sam 18/8/11 9.35am	Hi Katee, Thanks for your letter. I don’t think you’re overreacting to what happens at home as it sounds like it’s been difficult for you for quite a while. You have told me that your mum slaps you and that in the past she has pulled you up the stairs by your hair and strangled you with your scarf. I want to let you know that this is not your fault. What your mum is doing is called physical abuse which is wrong. Nobody has the right to hurt you like this. I can hear that you really appreciate the nice things your parents give you and it doesn’t sound like you’re being ungrateful or that you couldn’t care less. Life at home has made you really angry which makes you feel like you’ve lost control when your lid blows off and you behave in a disrespectful way. Being angry is your way of coping at the moment. Maybe it feels like that’s the only way to let your feelings out right now. It sounds like your sister tries to stick up for your mum and dad without knowing everything that happens which is annoying for you. Maybe you could think about talking to your sister on your own, perhaps it might be helpful if you feel like she knows your side of the story. You mentioned that your parents have talked about contacting social services to have you put into foster care and that’s made you try to run away. I want to let you know that you would be able to talk to social services about what options there might be to change things at home or live somewhere else. A ChildLine counsellor would be able to explain more about what might happen if you get in touch with them and help you to find out who to speak to if that’s what you decide to do. You can talk to a counsellor any time by calling 0800 1111 or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat through the website. I’d encourage you to get in touch with ChildLine to talk more about this. I know you’ve said it’s not that serious but it sounds like you really want to find a way to make it stop and I think a counsellor might be able to help you with that. You might like to look at our Types of abuse and keeping safe message board where lots of young people have shared their thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks for being brave enough to send your letter Katee and I hope this reply is helpful to you. Take care, Sam

To Sam

8/8/11 5.27pm

things at home

hey, im katee , im 12/13 and i live with my mum ,dad and my sisters some times comes over.

i have had enough off this, my mum doesnt hurt me anymore, but she had left me with brusies ,shes slapped me,and she once pulled me up the stairs by my hair!and she straggled me with my scalf,and she said it was all my fault, i feel really bad writing this but i want it too stop,i dont think its fair that i have too go through this,i dont want my mum and dad tooo get in trouble cos its not that serious, but i want it too stop! i dont know what too do anymore! they make me so angry, i cant control myslef! sometimes i think too myself is there something wrong with me cos i know i shouldnt be like this at all and i should be really respectfull , but dont get me wrong i always try too be but sometimes my lid just blows off!

my sisters doesnt even realise what goes on, cos shes not here half the time! but she still takes there side! and that really annoyes me cos she doesnt know the half off it!

i wish i didnt have too do this but i need too, my mum and dad said too me about 3/4 weeks ago that they didnt want me any more, and that they was going toto ring the people who deal with putting kinds if foster homes, so i tried too run away but thats not the first time i've ran for it! but i always end up either made too come back or i decide too....i really dont know what too do:/ so i really need your help?

i know you probably think that im over reacting and just doing this for the sake off it, but im really not! i wouldnt make all of this up and then send you a letter, if i was, would i?

i dont want things to get any worse cos i love my family so much and they mean the world too me, but they make me feel like i want too die! before i have done self harm before and no body knows about it!

i mean its not like i dont get things , cos i got a new ipod for chirstmas last year and i cried! and in march i got a new phone, and i was really happy and i couldnt stop thanking them! but they make it seem like i was really ungrateful and that i couldnt care less!

alll i want is some advice and nothing else, please tell me what i should do cos i really dont know anymore!

thankyou for listening and i hope i get a letter back!

love katee:)

Sam

18/8/11 9.35am

Hi Katee,

Thanks for your letter. I don’t think you’re overreacting to what happens at home as it sounds like it’s been difficult for you for quite a while.

You have told me that your mum slaps you and that in the past she has pulled you up the stairs by your hair and strangled you with your scarf. I want to let you know that this is not your fault. What your mum is doing is called physical abuse which is wrong. Nobody has the right to hurt you like this. I can hear that you really appreciate the nice things your parents give you and it doesn’t sound like you’re being ungrateful or that you couldn’t care less.

Life at home has made you really angry which makes you feel like you’ve lost control when your lid blows off and you behave in a disrespectful way. Being angry is your way of coping at the moment. Maybe it feels like that’s the only way to let your feelings out right now.

It sounds like your sister tries to stick up for your mum and dad without knowing everything that happens which is annoying for you. Maybe you could think about talking to your sister on your own, perhaps it might be helpful if you feel like she knows your side of the story.

You mentioned that your parents have talked about contacting social services to have you put into foster care and that’s made you try to run away. I want to let you know that you would be able to talk to social services about what options there might be to change things at home or live somewhere else. A ChildLine counsellor would be able to explain more about what might happen if you get in touch with them and help you to find out who to speak to if that’s what you decide to do. You can talk to a counsellor any time by calling 0800 1111 or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat through the website.

I’d encourage you to get in touch with ChildLine to talk more about this. I know you’ve said it’s not that serious but it sounds like you really want to find a way to make it stop and I think a counsellor might be able to help you with that. You might like to look at our Types of abuse and keeping safe message board where lots of young people have shared their thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Thanks for being brave enough to send your letter Katee and I hope this reply is helpful to you.

Take care,

Sam

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