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Ask Sam

Topic I don't know what to do anymore 

Question

To Sam 

2/11/11 7.58pm 

I don't know what to do anymore 

I have got so much on my mind and I can't cope with it.

I need help and I need it soon but I dont want to upset my mom anymore than I already have. You see, my step-dad has got terminal lun-cancer and is said to die in about 6 months. I love him so much!
I self-harm and its getting worse by the day.
My friends all think I'm depressed as do I.
My mom thinks I'm a disgrace.
My dad hates me.
My school has failed me.

The list goes on.

I can't cope with all this. I'm not strong enough and I'm SO tired of pretending that I am.

I just need some reassurance that I'm not completly worthless.

Sam's answer

Sam 

11/11/11 1.37pm 

Hi there

Thank you for getting in touch. It takes a lot of courage to talk about things that are troubling us and you have been very brave in talking about how you are feeling at the minute.

It sounds as if you have a lot of different things on your mind which are causing you a lot of distress. Like you really love your step dad and the news that he will die in six months because of his lung cancer must be really difficult to cope with. Have you been able to talk to anyone within the family about how you are feeling and the impact that this news has had on you?

You say that your mum hates you and your dad thinks that you are disgrace because of the fact that you have been self harming. It is really difficult when other people do not understand why we do the things that we do. I'm wondering wow often you feel like hurting yourself. Are there particular feelings that you have that result in you hurting yourself? Maybe the answers to these questions are difficult to think about and talking about how you feel can sometimes help. Have you been able to talk to anyone else in order to get some support, maybe a good friend or a teacher that you trust, or a school counsellor? Perhaps there is someone else at home that you could talk to?

You write that you are depressed. Have you had a chance to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling? Maybe a friend could go with you to the doctor to talk about how you are feeling - they could even wait outside whilst you speak with the doctor so that they can support you before and afterwards.

You write that you need some reassurance that you are not completely worthless. The fact that you have taken the time to write about your feelings, the fact that you are worried and upset about your step dad are all signs that you are a thoughtful and kind person.

You also know that you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any time. You can call directly on 0800 1111 and calls are free. You can also log onto the website and use 1-2-1 chat or private email. Talking to other young people who might be experiencing similar difficulties might also help. You can do this by sending a message on the ChildLine message boards.

In the meantime, please take care.

Sam

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