Hi there
Thank you for getting in touch. It takes a lot of courage to talk about things that are troubling us and you have been very brave in talking about how you are feeling at the minute.
It sounds as if you have a lot of different things on your mind which are causing you a lot of distress. Like you really love your step dad and the news that he will die in six months because of his lung cancer must be really difficult to cope with. Have you been able to talk to anyone within the family about how you are feeling and the impact that this news has had on you?
You say that your mum hates you and your dad thinks that you are disgrace because of the fact that you have been self harming. It is really difficult when other people do not understand why we do the things that we do. I'm wondering wow often you feel like hurting yourself. Are there particular feelings that you have that result in you hurting yourself? Maybe the answers to these questions are difficult to think about and talking about how you feel can sometimes help. Have you been able to talk to anyone else in order to get some support, maybe a good friend or a teacher that you trust, or a school counsellor? Perhaps there is someone else at home that you could talk to?
You write that you are depressed. Have you had a chance to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling? Maybe a friend could go with you to the doctor to talk about how you are feeling - they could even wait outside whilst you speak with the doctor so that they can support you before and afterwards.
You write that you need some reassurance that you are not completely worthless. The fact that you have taken the time to write about your feelings, the fact that you are worried and upset about your step dad are all signs that you are a thoughtful and kind person.
You also know that you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any time. You can call directly on 0800 1111 and calls are free. You can also log onto the website and use 1-2-1 chat or private email. Talking to other young people who might be experiencing similar difficulties might also help. You can do this by sending a message on the ChildLine message boards.
In the meantime, please take care.
Sam