Hi there
Thanks for taking the time out to write to me.
I can hear that things feel difficult for you at the moment. And it sounds as though things don’t feel right for you when you are with your friends.
From what you have told me it also sounds as though you are making lots of comparisons between how you are feeling and how you think your friends are feeling, also that you feel as though all of your friends are smart, thin and pretty. It sounds as though you are being quite hard on yourself.
I can also hear that you really miss your mum and your gran, I’m wondering what support if any you have received in relation to this? You may find it helps to talk to someone, maybe a counsellor.
I’m wondering also what help and support you may be receiving with your depression? It sounds as though you are receiving some support from your Camhs worker but you have told me that you have to lie to your family and your Camhs worker to lose weight. How would it be for you to maybe think that with the right support things may not always feel how they feel right now?
Have you had a look at the ChildLine message boards, you may find them helpful, they can be useful to get some support and possible advice from other young people who may be similar situations.
You can contact ChildLine and speak to a counsellor the call is free and will also not show up on you bill, the number is: 0800 1111 you can also access support from a ChildLine counsellor using 1-2-1 Chat, you can register to use this on the ChildLine website.
I do hope you might make contact
Take care
Sam