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Topic Jealous about everything they have 

Question

To Sam 

26/11/11 10.52pm 

Jealous about everything they have 

At the moment I'm jealous about everything my friends have. They all seem to have such perfect and care-free lives, the kind of life I dream of having. They have two parents, they get along with their family's and they never seem to be shadowed by mental health or other issues. They never seem to be the ones that are bullied. At the moment they just seem to have everything that I could only ever dream of having.

My Mum died when I was 5, and my Gran when I was 11. It's just like they don't see what they have. All of the time they'll come into school and say something like "I hate my Mum", they never appreciate that I would give anything to have mine back. Or they'll swear about their Gran's and say something like "she's useless" when to me just having a Gran, useless or not, would mean everything.

And all of the time my friends seem to get along with their parents, or if and when they do argue the arguments are small and don't affect them. Most of them can actually talk to their parents and siblings. I can't stand to sit in the same room with my family because it's so awkward and it's like they all look down on me because I have depression.

Every day my friends manage to come into school happy and cheery, and all I feel inside is upset and like giving up. Depression completely rules my life and I just want to be able to be free and have a life that I want. I just want a life like theirs. Simple without so much stress. They're all smart, and thin and pretty. And I'm not intelligent and at the moment I'm trying to lose weight (but I'm having to lie to my family and CAMHS worker to do it). I hate myself for being so jealous because it makes every day at school so hard, I see them and instead of being able to really have a good time all I can think about it wanting to be them or have their life.

Sam's answer

Sam 

8/12/11 10.07 

Hi there

Thanks for taking the time out to write to me.

I can hear that things feel difficult for you at the moment. And it sounds as though things don’t feel right for you when you are with your friends.       

From what you have told me it also sounds as though you are making lots of comparisons between how you are feeling and how you think your friends are feeling, also that you feel as though all of your friends are smart, thin and pretty. It sounds as though you are being quite hard on yourself.

I can also hear that you really miss your mum and your gran, I’m wondering what support if any you have received in relation to this? You may find it helps to talk to someone, maybe a counsellor.

I’m wondering also what help and support you may be receiving with your depression? It sounds as though you are receiving some support from your Camhs worker but you have told me that you have to lie to your family and your Camhs worker to lose weight. How would it be for you to maybe think that with the right support things may not always feel how they feel right now?

Have you had a look at the ChildLine message boards,  you may find them helpful, they can be useful to get some support and possible advice from other young people who may be similar situations.

You can contact ChildLine and speak to a counsellor the call is free and will also not show up on you bill, the number is: 0800 1111 you can also access support from a ChildLine counsellor using 1-2-1 Chat, you can register to use this on the ChildLine website.

I do hope you might make contact

Take care

Sam

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