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Topic How to be more discrete? 

Question

To Sam 

14/12/11 5.22pm 

How to be more discrete? 

Hi,

In school, there's this boy (Hamish) who I LOATH with heart soul, and life. Every time I lay eyes on him, I want to MURDER HIM THERE ON THE SPOT (but I don't as I'm able to stop myself throwing my scissors at him)

He knows I hate him, and the reason is he teases me at every possible moment, so he does it all the more, just to see me erupt.

How do I make the hatred more discrete so he doesn't torment me so much, as I think my hatred is the reason.

Thanks!

Sam's answer

Sam 

22/12/11 2.40pm 

Hello

Thank you for your letter. It sounds like you have been having a really tough time with Hamish at school lately. I’m glad that you decided to get in touch, it seems as though you are feeling really frustrated at the moment. 

You’ve told me that the reason you feel like you hate Hamish is because he teases you at every possible moment. It’s not okay for Hamish to tease you and make you feel like you are going to erupt. You may want to think about telling a teacher or an adult that you trust about what Hamish is doing and how it’s affecting you. Your school has a responsibility to deal with any kind of bullying that is going on. Keeping a diary of what happens, who does it, when and how it makes you feel can often be a good way to show a clear picture of what things are like for you at the moment. That way you can show the diary as proof of what’s been going on. 

I’m glad to hear that you’re managing to stop yourself from acting on your feelings. It sounds like both you and Hamish are giving each other a lot of attention at the moment even if that attention is negative.

From what you have said I can see that you want to break the cycle of what’s happening between the two of you, and stop from showing him how it’s affecting you. Perhaps it might help to think about ways that you can calm yourself down when you begin to feel yourself getting upset with Hamish. There are lots of ways to deal with anger such as play sports, going for a run, listening to calming music or even loud music can help. You could even punch a pillow or go somewhere and just scream to let it out in a safe way.

It may also be helpful to get to the bottom of you feelings and think about how it all started. You can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor about what’s been happening and how it’s making you feel. They will be able to talk to you about what you might like to happen and what options you have. You can talk to a counsellor anytime by calling free on 0800 1111 from any phone including mobiles or by 1-2-1 chat which is a bit like instant messenger

Hope this has been helpful.

Take care,

Sam

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