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Ask Sam

Topic Abuse 

Question

To Sam 

19/8/11 7.54pm 

Abuse 

I was abused from when I was about 3 until I was 11 by my dad. I have only just reported this to the police and I'm really scared of the outcome. The whole court process is scaring me so much. I've started drinking loads and self-harming more as a way of coping, I know these aren't the right coping mechanisms but it is all I know, I really really need help
Sam's answer

Sam 

2/9/11 2.21pm 

Hi and thanks for your message,

You’ve experienced some very difficult things and it sounds like there’s still some tough times ahead. Sometimes it can take people a long time to report abuse to the police because they are scared of what might happen.

It might be that an abuser threatens a young person to hurt them more if they tell somebody about what’s happening. This is often a lie but it’s also why it’s so important that if young person feels ready to tell someone and that they tell the right person. Examples of people you could tell would be an adult you trust, a teacher or the police - and of course you can talk to ChildLine too and we will always help you decide what you want to do next.

You’ve done really well to report the abuse – it’s a brave step to make, and takes a lot of courage. Now you’ve reported it, there’s still some difficult things to do – for example your case has gone to court and it’s likely you’re going to need some ongoing support.

Drinking and self-harming are things that some people turn to in order to cope with difficult feelings or situations. ChildLine will never judge you or tell you that these are wrong, but there might be ways of coping which are better for you in the long run and have fewer side effects. What might be helpful for you to think about is what are the down sides of the methods you are using to cope and what do you need in order to feel supported?

Perhaps you could talk about these things with one of our counsellors? We’d love to hear from you on the phone 0800 1111 or online by an email or a 1-2-1 chat, we’re here for you and can give you our support.

Thanks again for your message, take care.

Sam

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