Hi there
Thanks for your message. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now, but you have done the right thing by asking for advice. You were very brave to tell your mum about the abuse so well done for doing that. It sounds like she has been supportive of you as you’ve mentioned she tried to keep you safe. You also mentioned that your cousin did go on to abuse another child so by speaking up about this abuse hopefully other young people will not be at further risk from your cousin, so well done for that.
It sounds like your dad and grandma may be finding it difficult to cope with the fact that your cousin abused you. It’s important to remember that this wasn’t your fault. Just as you may be feeling confused about what your cousin did, your family may also be feeling confused but you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty. Your cousin was wrong for abusing you. I’m wondering whether you have had the chance to talk to your dad and grandma about how they make you feel. From what you have said it seems like your mum reacted in the way you wanted. Perhaps your mum could support you to talk to them about how you wish they would react towards you now.
All young people react differently to being abused and it can be a confusing time as you may be feeling lots of different emotions right now towards your cousin and your family. Some young people feel that talking about it can help. Abuse is very serious and difficult for anyone to deal with but hopefully over time and with the right support the control you feel you don’t have in your life may return.
It is important that you speak to someone about how you are feeling. It sounds like you may have a good relationship with your mum so perhaps you could think of talking to her about how you are feeling first and explain that you are finding it hard to deal with things right now. Your mum may be able to offer you more support. Your GP is also there to offer support so perhaps you could think about talking to them either with a family member/ friend or even alone as he/she may be able to refer you to an individual counsellor if you feel that may help.
You also mentioned you don’t feel motivated at school. I’m wondering if this is something you have shared with any of your teachers. Sometimes talking to a teacher can help as they may be able to support you to plan your work into steps you feel are manageable. Sometimes schools also have a school counsellor if you feel you would like to talk to them about how you are feeling.
You don’t have to cope with these feelings alone. If you would like to talk about this further you are welcome to talk to a counsellor in 1-2-1 or contact Childline’s 24/7 free helpline on 0800 1111. You might also want to check out our message boards to see what other young people say about how they are coping with past abuse.
I hope this helps.
Take care
Sam