Hi and thanks for your message,
I’m really glad you decided to get in touch because it sounds like for years the divorce has been having a big impact on you and the family. It’s got to a point where you feel something needs to change.
When parents split up, it’s naturally going to have some effect on the family and sadly the biggest impact can often be on their children. It sounds as though the main problem you’re having is that they are using you as a messenger and I’d like you to know that it’s not fair on you for them to do this.
You say that you want to solve the problem but your parents have a responsibility to deal with their relationship between them and it’s wrong for them to involve you in that. You’re right that they should be able to talk about what’s best for you and your brother without a war or argument.
You could think about telling them how you feel and saying that it’s wrong for them to put you under so much pressure. It might be that you could also decide not to pass on any messages for them so that they have to keep things between themselves. I can’t really tell you what to do though – you are the one in the situation so you know best about what would happen and how you’d feel.
It seems like this might be something you could talk through with one of our counsellors – we’d really like it if you called on 0800 1111 or talked to us online about things, so we can help you make up your own mind about what you’d like to do next.
Thanks again for getting in touch, we’re looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Sam