Hi there
I'm glad that you wrote to me, but it sounds as though you need some professional and medical support from a qualified doctor and/or counsellor. My guess from what you have told me about yourself, is that the way you feel could be a result of something not very nice happening to you, possibly when you were young. Such as being bullied or something happening at home or school.
What support you are receiving from your parents or carers and do they understand what you are going through? A good way to get some help would be to start talking to someone whom you feel close to such as a teacher, auntie, uncle or grandparents.
If you think you can't do this come and make contact with a ChildLine counsellor who will listen and together work out what help and support you need.
Please phone 0800 1111 or register on this site and have an online 1-2-1 chat.
Take care
Sam