Hi Steff
Thanks so much for your letter, it seems at the minute that you are struggling to deal with what has happened to you and that is no surprise. When parents split up, it's not just the two parents that are affected but it has an impact on the whole family. Your life has changed without you having very much control over it and yet you have to live with the consequences. It seems that you are trying very hard to pretend that everything is ok when inside you feel very sad and upset.
You seem worried that you will burden other people if you talk to them and are afraid to risk doing that. I'm thinking that one of the first things you could do is to tell yourself that is ok for you to be upset, and that you have every right to feel the way that you do. One of the roles of family and friends is to listen and be there when we need them. How would you react if a friend came to you to talk about a worry they had? I'm guessing that you would probably listen to them and help as best you could.
The way you are feeling won't go away on its own, it needs your help. Writing this letter was a good place to start because it shows that somewhere inside; you know that you need to talk. You have experienced a loss in your life that could leave you with all sorts of feelings. You might be angry at your parents, maybe guilty that you feel that way and as you have already said, you feel sad. All these feelings are normal and it is important to let them out. Come and talk to someone at ChildLine - it could be a way to test out what its like to talk out loud about your feelings before you talk to your friends. I don't know if you have looked at the message boards but you could ask other young people how they have dealt with similar situations.
You have taken this first step; let others help you to keep going.
Take Care
Sam