Hi there
Thanks for sending in your letter and for telling me how you are feeling. I'm really glad you decided to write to me - it sounds like you have a lot of things going on for you at the moment.
You say that it feels like you are going in a cycle with the feelings and issues you are experiencing at the moment, and that you have been through these before when you were younger. You also say that you bottle things up and are too shy to show any of what is inside. It sounds like you haven’t spoken to anyone about these feelings and I am wondering how you felt telling me about them? It may be that you felt some relief in letting the pressure 'out of the bottle'?
I know you mentioned that you would find it difficult to talk about how you're feeling, but I'm wondering if you spoke to someone anonymous, like a ChildLine counsellor, how you might find it? Sometimes talking to someone you can trust can be a way of finding safe ways to cope and the person you talk to may be able to help you solve some of the issues.
The counsellors at Childline will listen and support you and give you time to explore how you are feeling, without judging you or telling you what to do. You can talk to a counsellor at Childline by free phone on 0800 1111, or you can sign up for a ChildLine account and have a 1-2-1 online chat.
You might also like to take a look at the Depression in Teenagers website. It's an interactive site with details of what you may feel, how to deal with it, how to recognise depression, medication, and relaxation techniques.
Take care and thank you again for your letter
Sam