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Topic I just feel really messed up right now...

To Sam 29/06/2011 8:24pm	I just feel really messed up right now... Hi there. I'm Emily, and I'm 12 years old. I suppose you get a lot of e-mails like this - i've read through the website. Lately, I just feel really depressed, awkward at school, and my life is just going downhill. I have horrible mood swings, and I have a really bad temper. I flare up like a forest fire, and when I've started, I can't stop. I scream at my parents, and say really bad stuff. Then they get offended and start screaming back, and once they've tried to hit me, but not very hard. Once my dad grabbed me and pulled me across the landing, and I got a carpet burn, but I was winding them up quite a bit. If a parent hits you, even when you've been winding them up, does that count as an offence? Anyway, when I have these mood swings, everything goes out of my head and I just concentrate on one thing - to scream at my parents and make them feel bad. I kick at the door and then storm into my room afterwards. When I've calmed down, I go downstairs and say sorry, but my parents never really seem to forgive me. I want to learn ways to control my anger - I even lashed out on my best friend that I've known since Year 2 - we had a massive argument last week and she said she never wanted to know me. I really need ways to control my anger. Also, at school, I don't have very many friends. They all leave me to myself, and call me a nerd because I like English, but mostly leave me alone. When around people, I go all shy and can't make eye contact whatsoever. And every time someone tries to talk to me I feel like I want to cry, weirdly. All the people in my school are really confident because its a private school (I went to a states school in primary) and so I cant come out of my shell, and i am hopeless at drama. Also, one moment, I'll feel happy, and the next I'll be slamming the door. I just feel so messed up right now, and sometimes I think too deeply and say stuff I don't mean, and hurt my parents, and I scream and shout when I don't mean to. My parents say I'm immature and a baby, because I'm 12 and shouldn't be acting like this. Please, if you read this, reply back. Thank you :-) It would really help me.
Sam 07/07/2011 4:46pm	Hi Emily Thanks for writing to me about these difficult and angry feelings that you’re having at the moment. It sounds like things are pretty tough for you right now so it was a good idea to write to me. You’ve told me a bit about your bad temper and expressed yourself really well – it sounds as though, when you start to feel angry it takes over you and you find it really hard to control. It also sounds as though your parents often get the brunt of your anger and as though your feelings about this swing between wanting to get that anger out and then feeling bad about having said things to them that you don’t mean. Your dad once grabbed you and pulled you across the landing and you’ve asked if it’s an offence for your parents to hit you, even if it’s only once. Here at ChildLine we believe that no matter what is going on, parents should never hit or hurt their children in any way – there are always better ways to deal with situations than that. You’ve said that once you calm down from your anger, you try to apologise to your parents but you feel as though they never really forgive you. I wonder if you’ve talked to them about these feelings. Perhaps it might be a good idea to sit down calmly with them some time when you’re not feeling angry and talk through everything you’ve told me in this letter. Perhaps you could even print it out and show it to them if you’d like, so that the three of you could try to think of a way to make things better at home for everyone. You’ve told me a bit about what things are like for you at school, in that you had an argument with your best friend recently and feel as though you don’t have many other friends. You feel shy and find it hard when people start to talk to you. I wonder if you have any ideas about what makes you feel this way. It sounds like it must be pretty lonely for you at times. It sounds like you’ve started at a new school so I wonder if this might have something to do with why you’re finding things hard right now. Perhaps if there is anyone at school you feel close to, you could try to explain to them how shy you feel and how difficult things are. Sometimes just sharing your problems with a friend can make them seem lighter. You’ve talked about the fact that you need a way to control your anger. I wonder if you’ve had any ideas for ways you could express yourself when you’re feeling angry other than shouting at people? Some of the young people who contact ChildLine find it helpful to write their feelings down or to draw pictures to express their anger. Or you might find it useful to listen to some loud music or even punch your pillow to get those angry feelings out. I also wonder if you have any ideas about where your anger comes from. It sounds like you feel angry quite a lot, so perhaps it would be useful for you to think about where these feelings come from and if there’s anything you can do to change that. Perhaps that’s something you’d like to talk through with a ChildLine counsellor – if so, you could call for free on 0800 1111 or have a 1-2-1 online chat. Take care Sam

To Sam

29/06/2011 8:24pm

I just feel really messed up right now...

Hi there. I'm Emily, and I'm 12 years old.

I suppose you get a lot of e-mails like this - i've read through the website.

Lately, I just feel really depressed, awkward at school, and my life is just going downhill. I have horrible mood swings, and I have a really bad temper. I flare up like a forest fire, and when I've started, I can't stop. I scream at my parents, and say really bad stuff. Then they get offended and start screaming back, and once they've tried to hit me, but not very hard. Once my dad grabbed me and pulled me across the landing, and I got a carpet burn, but I was winding them up quite a bit. If a parent hits you, even when you've been winding them up, does that count as an offence?

Anyway, when I have these mood swings, everything goes out of my head and I just concentrate on one thing - to scream at my parents and make them feel bad. I kick at the door and then storm into my room afterwards. When I've calmed down, I go downstairs and say sorry, but my parents never really seem to forgive me. I want to learn ways to control my anger - I even lashed out on my best friend that I've known since Year 2 - we had a massive argument last week and she said she never wanted to know me. I really need ways to control my anger.

Also, at school, I don't have very many friends. They all leave me to myself, and call me a nerd because I like English, but mostly leave me alone. When around people, I go all shy and can't make eye contact whatsoever. And every time someone tries to talk to me I feel like I want to cry, weirdly. All the people in my school are really confident because its a private school (I went to a states school in primary) and so I cant come out of my shell, and i am hopeless at drama.

Also, one moment, I'll feel happy, and the next I'll be slamming the door. I just feel so messed up right now, and sometimes I think too deeply and say stuff I don't mean, and hurt my parents, and I scream and shout when I don't mean to. My parents say I'm immature and a baby, because I'm 12 and shouldn't be acting like this.

Please, if you read this, reply back. Thank you :-) It would really help me.

Sam

07/07/2011 4:46pm

Hi Emily

Thanks for writing to me about these difficult and angry feelings that you’re having at the moment. It sounds like things are pretty tough for you right now so it was a good idea to write to me.

You’ve told me a bit about your bad temper and expressed yourself really well – it sounds as though, when you start to feel angry it takes over you and you find it really hard to control. It also sounds as though your parents often get the brunt of your anger and as though your feelings about this swing between wanting to get that anger out and then feeling bad about having said things to them that you don’t mean.

Your dad once grabbed you and pulled you across the landing and you’ve asked if it’s an offence for your parents to hit you, even if it’s only once. Here at ChildLine we believe that no matter what is going on, parents should never hit or hurt their children in any way – there are always better ways to deal with situations than that.

You’ve said that once you calm down from your anger, you try to apologise to your parents but you feel as though they never really forgive you. I wonder if you’ve talked to them about these feelings. Perhaps it might be a good idea to sit down calmly with them some time when you’re not feeling angry and talk through everything you’ve told me in this letter. Perhaps you could even print it out and show it to them if you’d like, so that the three of you could try to think of a way to make things better at home for everyone.

You’ve told me a bit about what things are like for you at school, in that you had an argument with your best friend recently and feel as though you don’t have many other friends. You feel shy and find it hard when people start to talk to you. I wonder if you have any ideas about what makes you feel this way. It sounds like it must be pretty lonely for you at times. It sounds like you’ve started at a new school so I wonder if this might have something to do with why you’re finding things hard right now. Perhaps if there is anyone at school you feel close to, you could try to explain to them how shy you feel and how difficult things are. Sometimes just sharing your problems with a friend can make them seem lighter.

You’ve talked about the fact that you need a way to control your anger. I wonder if you’ve had any ideas for ways you could express yourself when you’re feeling angry other than shouting at people? Some of the young people who contact ChildLine find it helpful to write their feelings down or to draw pictures to express their anger. Or you might find it useful to listen to some loud music or even punch your pillow to get those angry feelings out.

I also wonder if you have any ideas about where your anger comes from. It sounds like you feel angry quite a lot, so perhaps it would be useful for you to think about where these feelings come from and if there’s anything you can do to change that. Perhaps that’s something you’d like to talk through with a ChildLine counsellor – if so, you could call for free on 0800 1111 or have a 1-2-1 online chat.

Take care

Sam

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There's a sadness covered up by gladness.

Hi, i am depressed but at school i act happy. I dont know if this is normal but recently i havent been depressed and people are realizing. I also cut myself and others are seeing that as well! i know...

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Self harming and can't cope

I used to self harm ages ago but I stopped then I met this person who made me feel so worthless so I started again and I couldn't stop. That person told the school who made me tell my parents...

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my self harm

i have only been self harming for a couple of days,but everytime i get upset (which is a lot) i cut my wrists,i do it because i cant take it out on anyone else because im small and people will...

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losing hope

losinghope

Im 17 years old and im in my first year of college. For years now ive had an ongoing problem with my family they dont like who i am i dont like them, we do get on well sometimes, but...

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Depression running in my family, I'm scared that myt get it.

Hi Sam,...

Depression runs in my family, tragic and new events have happened around me these past months, and I thought I was dealing with the good things and bad things in proportion to cause. Except recently I feel so...

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Am I bad?

Hi Sam,...

Bad things happen to all my friends. My youth leaders keep cutting me off when I try to talk about it. There is one teacher who I trust but I'm scared she will think I'm making a fuss....

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suicide

Hi, since i was 11 ive been starting to find myself, it took me a while and i'm still going now but ive been feeling extreamly low recently... i've had so many thoughts of killing myself. My step father used...

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Stressed and self- confidence

I feel really stressed and have no self-confidence in myself. I have been shy before and ever since I started school and I lack in self-confidence. Especially as it is coming up to Exam time I am very low in...

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I just feel really messed up right now...

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Life

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I just feel really messed up right now...

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my mam is always on my case

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Topic I just feel really messed up right now...