Hello there,
Thank you for telling me how things are for you.
It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot in your personal life and it is really affecting your grades at the moment and you hardly attend school. I am concerned you feel like you want to commit suicide, you have said that you don’t want to do anything though, that’s really great to hear because you have things that interest you and you are thinking about your future. I want you to know you have done so well to write to me about this.
I would really like you to get the support you need. If you can, please contact a ChildLine counsellor and talk about the things you are going through in more detail. You can do this either via 1-2-1 online chat or phone free on 0800 1111. The lines are open 24 hours a day, everyday. The counsellor will work with you at your pace and will support you throughout.
It is not your fault these things are happening, you ran away because of the way your dad was treating you. I want you to know he had no right to hit you and make you feel this way. You said you live with your mum now, I’m wondering what it is like for you now that you are living with her and how your relationship with her is.
With everything that is going on for you, It sounds like you are finding it difficult to cope and you have no idea what to do next. I can see that you are trying to figure out what you want to do with your future. You said you want to become a singer and you play the guitar. I’m wondering is there someone like a music teacher for example, who may be able to give you some guidance on how to build on your talent some more?
I know you are having problems with school at the moment and I am not sure if you would feel comfortable about speaking to a teacher. If you're worried about this you could even talk with a ChildLine counsellor about how you might approach the situation and what you might say. The counsellor can help you to think about your options and feelings about talking to others.
You said you have spoken to others on Facebook that have been through similar things, I can see that you are really trying to reach out and talk about your experiences. Have you had a chance to check out the ChildLine Message boards? It's a place for you to share your experiences with other young people and get advice from them too.
You are important, and I'm so glad you have had the courage to write in about how things are for you.
Take care
Sam