Hi there,
Thanks for letting me know how things are for you at the moment. You mention having the Winter Blues and you do sound frustrated about being stuck in the house for hours and missing your friends. There can be lots of reasons for feeling low for instance, there is a condition called SAD which stands for Seasonally Affective Disorder which is said to stem from the lack of daylight and sunlight in winter. You can find out more about this on The Site, or by talking to your GP.
You say you have a lot going on with your exams and that there is lots going on in your life but you also mention that you feel alone and are doubting yourself and say you don’t know what to do. Despite these doubts though, it sounds like you are doing your best to stay positive, by believing in yourself, having good intentions and hopes for the future.
It’s good to look forward to things turning out well but it’s also natural to have doubts about how that may happen. I’m wondering if there is an adult you trust who you could talk to about how you are feeling or alternatively, you might like to contact ChildLine (by free phone on 0800 1111, by 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email) and talk about this with them. A counsellor will be able to help you explore these feelings and support you. What you say to ChildLine is confidential unless they think your life is in danger.
Take care,
Sam