Hi there,
Thank you for your email. It sounds as if you’ve been through such a lot over the last 3 years; coping with depression, self-harm, feeling suicidal – and all of this on top of the pressures from doing your GCSE’s. I’m really glad that you’ve chosen to talk to me as talking to someone is a really important step to take.
I’m concerned that you are thinking about suicide again and I can hear that you feel terrified about it. It was really wrong of your parents to react how they did last time. You deserve to have the best support possible, especially as you are going through so much. Your life is so important.
I hear that you are scared about going to a doctor by yourself. Lots of people can feel like this but I’d like to assure you that doctors are there to help you and to listen to you, regardless of how old you are or what you are going through. It sounds really important that you do talk to a doctor. They can offer you help in lots of different ways. If you are under the age of 16, they are confidential unless they feel your life could be at risk, or they are completely confidential if you are over 16 (you can always ask them to check before you talk).
Some people find it helps to take a friend with them to the doctors or to write down what they want to say and take it with them.
Talking may be difficult at first but it can really help. It may be worth thinking about what life would be like if you could get help and you did feel happier? You have been so brave talking to me - I really encourage you to take the next step to talk to someone to be able to keep yourself safe.
If you would like to talk to a ChildLine counsellor, they would love to hear from you. They are confidential for young people up to age 19, unless you are in immediate life-threatening danger or unless you want us to tell someone. You can phone on 0800 1111, log in and send a private email or have a 1-2-1 chat online (like msn).
Take a look at the information in Explore about coping with feeling suicidal. There is lots of information and advice about Depression and feeling sad, Self-harm and exam stress which might help.
Remember to keep as safe as possible if you self-harm again. You can also find more information about self-harm (and many more issues) on The Site website, the National Self-Harm Network and the National Health Service website.
I hope this helps.
Take care,
Sam