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Ask Sam

Topic anger & bad behaviour 

Question

To Sam 

30/8/11 10.27am 

anger & bad behaviour 

hi sam i am a 12 year old girl who is in a big mess i began secondary school a few months back and everything has seemed to go wrong E.G; behaviour, my anger and how i handle it !

i was a really well behaved, high graded untroubled student in junior school and since i have started secondary school i seem to be a different person' ive been getting into fights at school, gettin in propa bad trouble in school with all the teachers, and it even got that bad i started to have a fag  now again that was my lowest' my school said i got that bad they felt they had to issue me with a personal counsellor and mentor to help me in school with my behaviour, anger and overall learning that made me feel in one word different !

it went all wrong at home as well such as getting in arguments with my parents saying i hate them and i even packed my stuff to run away it got that  bad and with my real dad dead i have a step dad that i call dad that is seriously ill and that doesnt help me at school either its way to much for me to handle i feel like everyone is against me most of the time and at school we have something called and behaviour support office which has isolation, im in there most of the time with liz, sharon, and bridgett ( i dont bother callin them by miss ... ect cuz i have known them for so long it just ent normal) and they have to keep an eye on me and phone my mom like EVERYDAY its so annoying im getting to the point when i just dont know what to do anymore PLEASE HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx :(

Sam's answer

Sam 

9/9/11 12.08pm 

Hi there,

Thank you very much for taking the time to write to me. It sounds like you are feeling really fed up with things right now and struggling to cope. It does sound like you are going through a tough time right now. A common theme throughout your letter was your anger and your behaviour issues at school and home.

You said that things changed when you started going to high school. Maybe you could have a think about what you think it was that caused a change in you finishing junior school and starting high school. I know some people find it helpful to vent anger through physical activities such as running or boxing or different kinds of sports. This may be something you might like to try next time you feel yourself getting angry. Another technique for dealing with anger is taking yourself out of heated situations. Some people also find taking deep breaths and counting to 10 can help. There is more information and tips on how to deal with anger on The Site website that you might find helpful.

You mention that your dad died and that you have a step dad who is seriously ill and can’t help you with your homework. This must be very difficult for you as a young person to be living with an unwell parent. You may like to talk to your mum and step dad about how things are for you right now.

At school you say that you have been spending a lot of time in isolation due to your behaviour and anger. You talk about these teachers who are in the isolation room with you calling your mum most days. You also say that you have a personal counsellor and a mentor. I’m wondering if you have ever thought about talking to your counsellor about what your feeling and going through at the moment? Counsellors are there to offer you help and support and could help you with your behaviour and anger issues.

You may also like to contact ChildLine and talk with a counsellor. You can speak with a counsellor over the phone 08001111 or online in a 1-2-1 chat. ChildLine is always there to help and support you.

Take care

Sam

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