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Topic Not sure what im feeling! 

Question

To Sam 

14/06/2011 11:23pm 

Not sure what im feeling! 

Hi Sam

Spoke to childline and you gave me the confidence to report my dad and the things him and his mate was doing to me. They now put me in a childrens home, which is great cause i'm away from him and his mate, but i'm feeling guilty for telling the police about my dad and his mate on what they done to me, as there are now in prison for what they did untill they get sentence at the end of June.

I dont really get on with the other children here as just feel like lashing out all the time cause i feel so confused, angry and scared. As no one is telling me what is going on and dont know why. I have asked the staff and social worker but they just say it's nothing to do with me, but I feel like it is. At the end of the day it is my dad despite the things that happened.

Not sure what to do and im wondering if you could help me on what i could do to find out what is going on and how to, in a way move on from all the things that has happend and how to get through the current situation.

Sam's answer

Sam 

15/06/2011 4:58pm 

Hi There

I am really happy to hear that you had been able to build up the courage to talk about what was happening to you. That can be really hard to do and can take a lot of time. It’s not easy getting used to a new place to live and being surrounded by people you don’t really know – as well as trying to cope with what happened to you.

Sometimes wanting to lash out is part of feeling confused, angry and scared. What happened to you was very wrong and all these feelings you are having are part of dealing with that. The staff and the social workers should be supporting you in how you are feeling and helping you to work through these feelings. Sometimes it can take time to figure out who you feel comfortable talking to. The staff and the social worker should be telling you what is happening – you have every right to know and you have every right to be respected in this.

Everyone deals with difficult and traumatic situations in their own way. If you feel that knowing more about what is happening and the action the courts are taking, then the adults around you should be respecting this. If you don’t feel that your social worker is listening to you, then you can call your social workers office and ask to speak with a Senior Social Worker and talk to them about your concerns.

I realise that can be hard, but maybe you can think of a member of staff you feel a little comfortable with and ask them if they can maybe help and support you in doing this. You can also contact the National Youth Advocacy Service on their website www.nyas.net. They also have a helpline number you can call for a chat about what they can do for you on 0800 61 61 01. They can help you and speak for you when you feel like all the other adults in your life aren’t.

You deserve to be heard and your wishes and feelings should be taken into consideration with every decision that is made that affects your life. You have been very brave and you have done the right thing. Don’t give up and remember you aren’t alone. If you would like to speak to ChildLine more about any of this you can call free on 0800 1111 or speak to a counsellor through 1-2-1 chat online.

Take care

Sam

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