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Topic Anger problems! HELP!!! 

Question

To Sam 

28/11/11 8.34pm 

Anger problems! HELP!!! 

I'm 14 and I'm in Y10 at school. Since about a year ago I have been suffering from REALLY bad anger problems. I get stressed over little things, like if someone made a joke about me I just flip over it. Usually when I flip at someone I say some pretty mean stuff that I regret after. I'm popular at school though so I always get called a bully by the geeks. I punch stuff all the time and my knuckles are always bruised and cut:/  Also every time I even think about my parents I feel like I need too punch something. they get me so angry that they make me cut myself nearly every day! I feel like I cant cope with all this crap anymore :/ please help? xx

Sam's answer

Sam 

8/12/11 4.13pm  

Hi there,

Thank you for you letter. You say that you have been having really bad anger issues for about a year now, get stressed at little things and that you flip out and say hurtful things to people which you regret afterwards. It sounds to me like this is not something you can control right now. I think you have been really very brave sending me your letter and being so honest about what is going on for you.

You talk about your parents making you feel so angry that they cause you to cut yourself everyday. Your relationship with your parents must be really hard for you to cope with if you are cutting yourself everyday. I feel that cutting yourself or self-harm may help some people release their emotions and it sounds as though it is your way of coping with what is going on for you at home. Maybe you could have a think about other ways in which you could let out your emotions or cope with what is going on for you at home. I do feel it is important to be safe when you are cutting and make sure your wounds are looked after and cared for as you are very important. You can find some useful information about Self-harm in Explore.

You also say just thinking about your parents makes you feel as though you want to punch something. You say that you often punch things and end up with bruised and cut knuckles. This could cause you to really hurt yourself and I’m wondering if maybe when you feel the urge to punch something you could try and find something softer and safer to punch like a sofa cushion or a pillow. Another option instead of punching things and hurting your knuckles could be to get a big phone book and rip out all the pages this could help release some of your stress and anger. I do realise that you may not be able to do these things at school but maybe you could have a think about what else you might be able to do when you feel the urge to punch things.

You say you are popular at school which is really great and that some of the other students are calling you a bully. That must be a really hurtful thing for you to hear. I think that you saying that you want help are a really great first step. Maybe you could think about talking to a friend or someone you trust about how you are feeling and what is going on.

Have a look at the ChildLine message boards, it is a place where young people can talk about their problems and other young people can respond. Often young people write some tips for how they have dealt with similar situations.

Also ChildLine is always here if you need someone to talk to about what is going on. ChildLine is a confidential service and you can call 0800 1111 and talk to a counsellor or you can chat online.

Good Luck

Sam

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